Dear Worn-out Mama,
I see you. All year long, you care so well for everyone around you – the kids, your spouse, family, coworkers, bosses, the dog – you know the list. You do it so well that the “how do you do it all”s get old.
And sometimes you secretly wish you weren’t a caretaker for EVERYone. Well, you know as well as I do: you have kids, you have family, therefore you will never not be a caretaker. Your role will shift as kids and parents age, but they will always be on your caretaking list.
I also know you lovingly embrace this role. Caring for others is fulfilling. It’s a beautiful part of being a mother, a partner, a loved one. And yet, this makes it hard to:
- Nurture yourSELF
- Pay attention and take care of the pain caused by stress (hello neck tension!)
- Connect with your friends a community
It’s too easy to backburner yourself, ignore the messages your body is sending you, and isolate yourself. Then you feel guilt on top of that any time you choose yourself.
The Burnout of the Backburner
Now here’s tthe scary part: It’s not sustainable, it breeds resentment and a downward spiral of exhaustion, overwhelm, loneliness, and eventually leads to injuries and health problems.
And I GET it. I’ve been there. I was so far gone, I had completely lost myself.
But here’s a secret…
It does NOT have to be this way. In fact:
- You CAN prioritize yourself
- You DON’T have to live with pain or discomfort
- Self-care can be simple and convenient
And the good news is, you don’t need to throw away that caretaker list. In fact, all you need to do is add one more person: YOU.
Put your name on the top of that list, mama, you need it and you deserve it. So, let’s get you there. I can help!
I see you shaking your head at me. I hear the “I don’t have time/energy/money/motivation to [insert whatever crazy idea you think self-care is]. But you know what? I’m going to call you out here: those are just excuses. Self-care doesn’t have to be:
- Regular weekly massages or mani-pedis (as wonderful as they are!)
- Girls nights or getaways
- Anything that costs money, leaving the house, getting a sitter
We Need a Self-care Revolution
Self-care is much more simple than that (relieving, right?!). It’s simply caring for yourself, choosing to add you to your caretaking list.
In fact, it’s often way more powerful to engage in small actions throughout the day. Habits are formed by the things we do consistently. Two minutes, ten times a day can be way more powerful than twenty minutes once a day, especially when you’re still learning how to prioritize yourself.
As with learning anything new, it’s best to start small. Which is why I work with my clients on a concept I call:
Choose YOU for TWO
There are 60 minutes in every hour, so ask yourself, how many of those minutes are you caring for others. Probably something like 60, right? Even going to the bathroom is usually accompanied by children or checking work emails, right?
So, what if we reserved two, just TWO, of those minutes for YOU.
What can you accomplish in two minutes? It’s not much time, yet it’s a powerful opportunity to do something just for you. Here are my favorite TWO moments:
- Breathing – yep, simply stopping to breathe. I follow a 5-5-7-5 (inhale, hold, exhale, hold). Deep breathing is a powerful way of calming the nervous system, and science proves it.
- Move my body – sometimes that’s jumping jacks, sometimes it’s simply moving my limbs around
- Be fully present in simple tasks – eating, dishes
- Connecting with my body – taking the time to check in and ask “what do I need in this moment”? A quick stretch, time on the foam roller, a break?
- Just take a BREAK, mama
- I call my own mama
So, what could YOU do for two minutes? Make a list here:
My goal is to empower you to embrace the WONDERmom inside of you.
Are you ready?